The Identity Audit

Find out where you are — and where to start.

This takes about four minutes.

After a major life disruption — a marriage that cost you yourself, a loss, a divorce, a career that fell apart — it is easy to lose track of who you are inside all of it. You keep functioning. But something is missing.

These ten questions will tell you exactly where you are in the process of coming back to yourself, and what that means for your next step.

Your progress

Question 1 of 10

When someone asks what you do for fun, you:

Have a clear answer — you know what brings you joy and you do it. Can think of a few things, but most of them are from years ago. Draw a complete blank. You honestly cannot remember what you enjoy. Answer with what everyone else enjoys. Your own preferences do not come to mind.

Question 2 of 10

When you have a decision to make — big or small — you:

Trust your gut and move forward. Decisions feel manageable. Second-guess yourself, but you usually land somewhere. Ask everyone around you before you feel safe deciding anything. Avoid it as long as possible. Deciding feels genuinely overwhelming.

Question 3 of 10

When you think about who you are right now, you:

Feel like yourself. You recognize the person you are. Notice you have changed, but you are still finding your footing. Feel like a version of yourself you do not quite recognize. Feel like you disappeared somewhere along the way and have not come back yet.

Question 4 of 10

If someone asked you to describe yourself — not your roles, just you — you would:

Know what to say. You have a clear sense of your values and what makes you who you are. Come up with something, but it would feel surface-level. Default to your roles — mom, employee, caregiver — because that is all that comes to mind. Not know where to start. The question would stop you completely.

Question 5 of 10

When it comes to your own needs and limits, you:

Know what they are and protect them consistently. Have a general sense of them, but let them slide when people push. Say yes when you want to say no — more often than you would like to admit. Have no real sense of where you end and other people's needs begin.

Question 6 of 10

When you think about the next few years of your life, you feel:

Genuinely hopeful. You have some sense of where you are headed. Uncertain, but curious. You do not have a clear picture yet, but that feels okay. Anxious. You cannot see past what is right in front of you today. Nothing. The future feels blank. It is hard to imagine it at all.

Question 7 of 10

If someone asked what you are passionate about, you would:

Light up. There are things that genuinely excite you and you can name them. Mention things that used to matter to you, even if they feel distant now. Talk about what other people in your life care about, because that is what fills your time. Feel nothing come up. You cannot remember the last time something lit you up.

Question 8 of 10

Your daily life right now feels:

Like yours. Mostly intentional, mostly in line with what you actually want. Functional, but disconnected from what you really want for yourself. Like you are on autopilot. Going through the motions without much say in it. Completely organized around everyone else. There is no space in it that feels like yours.

Question 9 of 10

When you are alone with your own thoughts, you:

Feel okay there. The quiet is manageable, sometimes even good. Feel restless, but you can sit with it. Reach for your phone, the TV, anything to fill the space quickly. Feel flooded — sadness, anxiety, or a kind of emptiness you cannot name.

Question 10 of 10

If you could change one thing about your life right now, you would:

Know exactly what it is. You can name it clearly. Have a few things in mind — it is hard to pick just one. Feel like everything needs to shift, but have no idea where to start. Want to start completely over. From scratch. Whatever that means.

Almost there

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Your results are ready. Enter your name and email below and they will appear immediately. I will also send you a copy so you have it to refer back to.

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